


Afternoon Delight

by NowSeeHere



Category: Call the Midwife
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, Lesbian Sex, Modern Era, Morning Sex, One Shot, Outdoor Sex, Romance, Romantic Comedy, Romantic Fluff, Shameless Smut, Smut, Strap-Ons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-07-09 16:10:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19890637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NowSeeHere/pseuds/NowSeeHere
Summary: When Patsy and Delia's morning sex is rudely interrupted with an apple picking adventure with their friends, Patsy becomes determined to finish the job.





	Afternoon Delight

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Strap-on sex in this fic. If it's not your thing please pass on this. Otherwise enjoy this silly little one shot!

It was a typical quiet Sunday morning that autumn day in Poplar, and while the sunlight warmed the drafty old room in Patsy and Delia's home, there was still a chill outside that nipped at ones nose and made the air crisp. 

Feeling immensely cozy wrapped up in a soft and fluffy duvet, Patsy woke to the feeling of warm, strong arms wrapping around her body and a curious little nose nuzzling into her back. 

She smiled and stretched, the blankets shifting around her to expose her arms and torso as she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and blinked her eyes open. She couldn't help but giggle when she felt her girlfriend run her hands under her top and gently cup her breasts. 

'You're rather affectionate this morning,' she smiled, rolling over onto her back to scoop Delia up into her arms.

'I want your attention,' Delia said, shifting to crawl on top of Patsy, the redhead working her fingers through Delia's long brunette hair as they entangled their legs with one another. 

Delia leaned down for a kiss and Patsy sighed at the feeling of her loves weight pressed against her, pinning her down onto the soft bed. 

‘Well you certainly have it,’ Patsy breathed, finding it increasingly difficult to keep her eyes opened as Delia continued to sweetly kiss her and gingerly run her fingers through her hair. 

Delia began to press her thigh between Patsy's legs, making the taller woman moan into their kiss. 

‘Oh, I like that,’ she sighed. 

Delia smiled, closing her eyes as kissed her way down along Patsy's jawline and neck. Her hands once again finding their way under her top, pushing the fabric so slowly up Patsy's body that the sensation left Patsy squirming, the little bumps under her skin rising. Delia continued to nuzzle her bare skin, opening her mouth and placing wet, lazy kisses along Patsy's exposed chest and breasts. She hummed delightfully as she pulled a nipple into her mouth and gently tugged, enticing a sigh from Patsy. 

‘This ok?’ Delia asked softly as she continued to kiss across Patsy's chest. 

‘Very ok,’ Patsy breathed, a slight smirk playing on her lips at the feeling of Delia lightly rocking her hips against her strong thigh, the woman feeling as though she was getting rather worked up herself. 

She gasped when she felt Delia's hand spread her legs apart and firmly rub her most intimate area over her knickers. The teasing touch had her thrusting her hips slightly off the bed for more. 

‘Do you want-,’

‘Yes,’ Patsy breathed, unable to stop herself from licking her lips, feeling herself grow more excited at the prospect of being touched where she really needed it. 

Delia gave a mischievous smile. 

‘Yeah?’ she breathed, taking her one finger and teasingly grazing it down and up Patsy's slit over her knickers. 

‘Yes yes yes,’ Patsy pleaded, wiggling her hips, ‘please, Delia…’

Delia sweetly leaned down to kiss her love as her right hand expertly pushed Patsy's knickers to the side and finally ran her two fingers along the length of her without any barriers. 

‘Oh, god,’ Patsy breathed letting out a deep breath of air she didn't even know she had been holding in. She could feel the tension in her body slip away, and she seemed to melt into the bed, focusing on relaxing and feeling the soft sheets against her skin and Delias fingers between her legs gently stroking her. 

‘Feel good?’ 

Patsy could only nod, her arms wrapping around Delia's body and holding her close while she did marvelous things with her fingers. 

‘Mmm, you feel good,’ Delia practically purred into Patsy's neck, ‘You want more, baby?’ she asked softly. 

‘No, no,’ Patsy shook her head, ‘this is perfect. Don't change a thing…’ 

Delia merely smiled, tucking her head into the crook of Patsy's neck and giving her sweet kisses there while her fingers grazed almost teasingly over her clit, making the taller woman gasp and moan softly. 

Patsy was in morning sex heaven, thriving on how Delia felt pressed against her, her warm breath against her neck, her soft, breathy moans in her ear. She craved more of that and wondered what use could do to the woman to get more. 

The mere thought of pleasing Delia in several different ways made Patsy's breath hitch in her throat, that familiar coil within her building up and up with each stroke of Delia's fingers, slick and coated completely with Patsy's need. Before she knew it Patsy's eyes had shut and mouth opened in a silent cry, her hips thrust up into Delia's hand for more pressure, more contact, before she finally felt that delicious burst of pleasure from between her legs rock her body, stars appearing behind her eyes as the waves of her orgasm rolled over and over her. 

She opened her eyes to the feeling of Delia gently stroking her inner thigh as she placed kisses along her neck and collarbone. 

‘Sweetie that was…’ Patsy trailed off and Delia shyly smiled. 

Delia used her hand to trail up Patsy’s body, running softly along the sensitive skin while Patsy breathed out her post orgasm bliss and stretched. 

Patsy brought Delia’s hand to her mouth and kissed her fingers, her mouth opening to wrap her lips around her two fingers to lazily taste herself. The sight and sensation had Delia gulping down a lump in her throat, and Patsy grinned wickedly when she felt the smaller woman begin to rock against her thigh again. 

‘Come here,’ Patsy commanded softly, pulling Delia down and capturing her lips with her own. 

The two women exchanged several deep, heated kisses as Patsy gently forced her way on top, pinning Delia down and grinding the length of her body against the smaller woman. Delia in turn arched her whole body against Patsy's and wrapped her legs around the woman's hips, holding her close. The duvet and sheets were kicked off the bed as a result of their tossing and turning, giving the two an excuse to stay close to keep warm. 

Patsy leaned back, looking hungrily at Delia as she raked her fingers through her hair to get it out of her face. She licked her lips before she bit down on them, the sight beneath her of Delia's dark eyes and parted lips as she desperately grasped onto her, not wanting her to go anywhere, made feel dominate, protective. 

‘I want to eat you out,’ Patsy said in a voice more sultry than even she expected, and the result was Delia gasping happily. 

‘I want that,’ Delia said, her eyes closing, ‘and I want more.’ 

‘More?’

‘Yes more,’ Delia breathed, her hands gripping onto Patsy's top and holding on for dear life, ‘I want you to fuck me, Patsy, please.’ 

Patsy hummed happily as she leaned down and pressed her body hard against Delia’s pushing her into the bed and forcing her legs further apart with her hips. She rocked her hips against Delia’s, grinding against her, enticing the cutest of whimpers to escape from the smaller womans quivering lips. 

‘You want me to fuck you, baby?’

‘Yes, god,’ Delia said, wrapping her arms around Patsy’s neck and pulling her down, ‘I want everything. I want all you have to give.’ 

Patsy racked her brain for a moment, her mind going back to the day before when they went grocery shopping and cleaned the house and finished the last of the laundry. For all intents and purposes, they really had no excuse to get out of bed that day. It was rather hard to resist the woman right now with her squirming underneath her, pulling at her and wiggling her hips. She had been so good to Patsy this morning and Patsy wanted to spoil her and give her exactly what she wanted. 

Just as Patsy brought herself down to Delia for another kiss, both of their phones chimed on their respective night tables at the side of the bed, and both women groaned. 

'Oh no,' Delia whined.

'Whose texting is this early in the morning?' Patsy grumbled. 

Delia wiggled out of her arms, rolling over to reach for her phone to Patsy’s dismay. 

'Leave it,' Patsy said, huffing as Delia completely ignored her. 

`I've just remembered,' Delia sighed, opening her phone and scrolling through her texts. 

'What is it? Did you forget you were on call?' Patsy asked blithely, working to get back to the task at hand. She leaned down and kissed the back of Delia's neck, situating her legs so that her one thigh spread apart Delia's. 

'No, sweetie,' Delia giggled, pushing herself back against Patsy's thigh and sighing, 'we've promised to spend the day apple picking with everyone.'

'We did?' Patsy raised an eyebrow wondering when she agreed so spend her Sunday doing something so droll. 

'Yes don't you remember?' Delia tisked. 

'Obviously not,' Patsy replied, bringing her focus back down to Delia's body as she pressed against her and kissed the back of her neck, 'Can't we blow them off? Tell them we're busy?'

'Pats, I'm not blowing of my friends just to have sex with you all day.'

'Whyever not?!'

'Because it's rude! Besides they're-,'

There was a symphony of noise coming from all over the place. Cell phones ringing, doorbells chiming, loud knocking at the front door and a car horn blaring from out on the street. 

'Here,' Delia finished, silencing her phone and tossing it on the bed. 

'Oh, bloody hell,' Patsy sighed, feeling defeated. 

'Well, come on then,' Delia said over the sound of the doorbell going off.

'Well wait!’ Patsy cried out as Delia rose from her spot on the bed, ‘what about you?' 

Delia raised her eyebrow at that, 'What  _ about  _ me?'

Patsy faltered slightly. 

'Well can't we… I want...I hate to leave you all hot and bothered…'

Delia gave a sigh as she began to pace their room as she brushed her hair, 'Well it's not your fault. I'll just… have to deal with it I suppose.'

Patsy grumbled, not at all satisfied with that answer. 

There was a series of doorbell ringing and knocking and car horn beeping again and the two women groaned again. 

'They're not going to shut up until we get down there,' Delia said as she began opening their chest of drawers, sifting through its contents for something to wear that day. 

'Like hell they won't.'

Patsy rolled off the bed and stomped over to the window that faced the front of the house, ripping open the curtains and scowling down at a group of familiar looking women surrounding a station wagon that had the engine running. 

Valerie, Trixie, Barbara, and Lucille were all in their special place making all sorts of noise. Trixie on the phone no doubt the one calling and texting them. Barbara behind the wheel of the car blaring the horn. Lucille was at the door knocking, and Valerie standing on the street, a huge grin forming on her features as she spotted the redhead in the window. 

Patsy narrowed her eyes at that one. 

Valerie immediately cupped her hands around her mouth and shouted. 

'Oi cunt!'

Patsy hastily unlatched the window and threw it open. 

'Will you idiots shut the bloody fuck up?!' 

'Will you get the bloody fuck down here already?' Valerie shouted back, 'it is prime apple picking season and we are missing out on all the fun!'

'The apples aren't going anywhere!' 

'How do you know?' 

Patsy made a noise as if the comment was absurd. 

'This isn't the wizard of fucking Oz! The trees aren't just going to pick the apples off themselves!' 

'Well I for one am looking forward to the hard cider varieties,' Trixie proclaimed as she tucked her phone away in her pocket, to which Patsy noticed her phone finally stopped ringing, 'Who wants to daydrink with me?' 

Valerie raised her hand and Trixie gave her a high five. 

'Think of all the farm animals we get to pet, Patsy!' Barbara shouted from the car 'All the little goats and duckies!'

'Don't forget piglets!' Lucille added. 

'Piglets. Piglets Patsy! In little piglet galoshes!' Barbara added. 

Patsy had to admit to herself that seeing some piglets in little booties would possibly make the trip all the worthwhile. 

'Speaking of, could you and Delia get your little piggies down here already or what?' 

Patsy was about to open her mouth to go into another tirade when she felt Delia gently press her hand against the small of her back. 

'Patsy, will you please get dressed before you have a conniption,' Delia pleaded as she gently pulled Patsy away from the window, 'We'll be down in five minutes!' she shouted at the group before she calmly shut and latched the window. 

Patsy turned and got a good look at Delia who seemed to have already fully dressed in the time she was berating their friends out the window. She looked over her outfit, a simple jumper, a skirt that rested just above her knees and knee high brown boots. 

'What you all dressed up for?'

Delia walked back over to their chest of drawers and giggled as she put on a pair of earrings that were sitting in a box on top. 

'What do you mean?’ Delia asked. 

'We're going to a farm and you're wearing your good boots.'

'Yes and they're the most comfortable pair of shoes I have. Are you just going in your t-shirt and knickers?' 

'Well obviously. They're the most comfortable outfit I have.'

Delia gave Patsy a wry look as she adorned herself with a scarf and jacket from the hooks off the back of the bedroom door. 

'I'll go pack us some snacks and water while you get dressed,’ she said. 

Grumbling, Patsy was already tugging on a clean pair of knickers and jeans as Delia made her way out of the room. She chucked her t-shirt into the hamper and clipped on a clean bra. 

She sat on the bed as she pulled on a pair of thick woolen socks, and was lacing up one boot when something protruding from the nightstand on her side of the bed caught her eye. She looked over and spotted the corner of a strap. To a harness. To which a particular  _ toy _ attached that up until ten minutes ago Patsy had every intention of adorning and fucking the living daylights out of her girlfriend with. 

Patsy refused to call  _ that thing _ by its proper name because it sounded too silly.  _ Dildo _ , ugh. The least sexy string of letters together that she could ever think of. She didn't want to call it a  _ cock _ because that sounded too aggressive. Once she and Delia were sitting around thinking of things to call it. When Delia suggested dingley-dang, Patsy wouldn't wear it for a month.

Patsy sighed, feeling irritated that her plans had been squashed on that particular regard. 

She stopped lacing up her boot as a thought occurred to her. 

The harness was really nothing more than a pair of knickers with a rubber ring in the front. And the toy that attached  _ was  _ rather portable.

Patsy blinked, tilting her head side to side considering something, her brain working behind the scenes to formulate a plan. 

'Am I actually considering fucking my girlfriend in public?' she inquired out loud.

The look of frustration and disappointment on Delia's face when their friends came calling flashed before her eyes and Patsy thought that maybe just this once she could take a chance on pleasantly surprising the woman, on being spontaneous and sexy. Things could either go wonderfully well or horribly wrong. 

'Patsy?' Delia called up the stairs, 'Are you ready cariad?' 

Patsy jumped up and kicked off her boot, deciding to just go for it. 

She scrambled, quickly tugging off her jeans and changing into the harness knickers before quickly throwing her jeans back on. She threw on a t-shirt, flannel button down, and her jacket. She grabbed the toy and discreetly tucked it into the hidden breast pocket before shoving on her boots and running down the stairs to catch up to Delia, finding the woman waiting at the door for her with a rucksack full of snacks. 

‘What took you?’ 

‘Nothing!’ Patsy said, taking the rucksack from Delia and ushering her out the door. 

Valerie banged her hand on the side of the car from her spot in the back seat, and Patsy saw that the others were already inside waiting for them. 

‘You’re in the back facing the other way,’ Valerie pointed her thumb to the boot of the car. 

‘Oh it’s one of  _ those  _ station wagons,’ Delia marveled and she pried open the door of the boot. 

‘Jesus Barbara how old is your car?’ Patsy asked as she climbed in after Delia. 

‘Hey, don’t be agest against my car now.’ 

‘I’m not being agest; these things tend to be a death trap, right?’ Patsy asked, looking around for consensus. 

‘Oh you could say that about any car,’ Trixie quipped from the front seat, bringing a fresh cigarette to her mouth. 

‘Seat belts!’ Barbara said as she shifted into gear, ‘And no smoking in the car, Trixie, please.’ 

Trixie gave a dissatisfied grunt but put her smokes away in her purse. 

The six women dissolved into friendly chatter about all the things going on in their lives as Barbara made her way through the city towards the outskirts and eventually the countryside. Their drive was about an hour long, and in that time, Patsy had noticed the conversations trailing off, the four women in the front enjoying the quiet ride through the hills and trees while soft tunes played on the radio. Behind her, Valerie had her arm around Lucille's shoulder, the woman resting her head on Valerie's shoulder for a light snooze. 

Patsy looked over at her own girl and saw that Delia had her head in her hand, resting her eyes as her body swayed and rocked gently with the motion of the car. 

Patsy unbuckled her seat belt and slid across the seat, throwing her arm around Delia’s shoulder and snuggling up close. 

‘Oh hello,’ Delia said, a tired smile playing at her lips. 

‘Hi,’ Patsy said, nuzzling her nose against Delia’s temple and kissing her ear. 

‘To what do I owe the pleasure?’ 

‘You just looked so cute I couldn’t resist,’ Patsy replied in a whisper, gently pressing her soft lips against Delias ear. 

Delia broke out into a full grin, bringing a hand to grasp onto Patsy's top, pulling her closer. 

Patsy couldn't help but grin herself, the simple motion of Delia grasping onto her and pulling her close always made her heart beat in anticipation. 

‘Also I don’t think we got enough cuddles this morning,’ she added, tightening her grip around Delias shoulders. 

‘Mmm nope.’ 

Patsy used her other hand to gently cradle Delias head, cupping her jawline and rubbing her thumb sweetly across her cheek. Delia reciprocated by leaning more into Patsy and bringing the palm of her hand to her lips to kiss her there. Patsy softly kissed Delia at the edge of her eyebrow and temple, and along her ear. 

Her hand migrated away from Delias face to her hip, and while she continued kissing Delia and Delia continued to purr like a kitten, her hand moved a bit further down her leg, grazing gently along her thigh towards the fringe of her skirt. 

‘Is this Ok?’ she asked, her finger tracing light circles on the inside of Delia's knee. 

‘Mmhmm,’ Delia hummed softly, tilting her head back slightly to kiss Patsy's neck. 

Patsy glanced behind her over her shoulder and saw that no one seemed to be the wiser to their antics as Barbara continued to drive along, tapping her fingers on the steering wheel to some tune on the radio. Trixie looked to be scrolling through some social media app on her phone in the front seat, and Valerie and Lucille seemed wrapped up in one another dozing behind her. 

Patsy focused her attention back on Delia, her mouth once again on her neck as her hand slowly crept up her skirt. 

She would have kept going if Delia hadn’t abruptly clamped her legs shut, pinning Patsy's hand before it could go any further. 

‘We better slow down,’ Delia said, sounding as if she were struggling to control her breathing. 

Patsy gave a playful frown and puppy dog eyes. 

‘Pats,’ Delia chided quietly, ‘I don’t want to get carried away in front of our friends.’ 

‘Fair enough,’ Patsy replied, slowly removing her hand and straightening Delia’s skirt, ‘I’ll be good.’ 

‘I like you kissing on me though,’ Delia added, taking Patsy's hand and giving it a sweet kiss across her knuckles. 

Patsy smiled at that. 

‘What’s going on with you today?' Patsy asked, 'You’re never like this when we’re out with friends.’ 

‘Well you got me really worked up earlier,' Delia grumped, shifting in her seat uncomfortably,' 'Doesn't help that I never got to… you know. Plus I’m probably ovulating and it’s making me really… well… want to go back to our place and finish what we were doing.’ 

Patsy blinked and sat back slightly, really looking at Delia. The smaller woman's cheeks were feathered with a light blush and Delia looked as if she were trying really hard to restrain herself. 

Delia brought a hand over her face. 

‘Ugh, I wish we could have stayed home today.’ 

‘We’re here!’ 

Everyone in the car seemed to jump at Barbara's sudden outburst, and Patsy looked outside the window to see them pulling off the road and onto a plot of land where other cars were parked. Other groups of people and families with kids were running around the main entrance to a simple farmhouse with a sign over the door that said Nonnatus orchards. Patsy looked around some more and saw a church not too far away and a nun dressed in a full habit sitting on a log playing the guitar to a group of children. 

‘Barbara what kind of place  _ is _ this?’ Valerie asked, looking over towards the house. Valerie seemed to be wondering the same thing as Patsy. 

‘It’s an apple farm, of course. My father recommended it!’ 

‘Your father the Vicar?’ Delia asked. 

‘Well that explains all that,’ Patsy said, gesturing to the happy nuns. 

‘Are they gonna let people like us in?’ Valerie asked. 

‘What do you mean ‘like us’?’ Lucille leaned back, looking at Valerie curiously. 

‘You know.  _ The Gays _ ,’ Patsy chimed in. 

‘Well just don’t do anything too gay then,’ Delia shrugged. 

‘Impossible. I  _ am  _ gay. Therefore by definition everything I do is gay.'

'Cheeky,' Delia replied. 

‘I’m gay, therefore I am,’ Valerie mused. 

‘Will you two shut up,’ Trixie hastily unclipped her seatbelt and opened her passenger side door, ‘lets get on with it. I can smoke here Babs, right?’ 

She was already lighting up by the time everyone else piled out of the car. 

Valerie joined Trixie for a quick fag while the other women looked around gathering their bearings. 

'Think I'll take a quick trip to the loo,' Barbara casually announced, tilting her head to a row of portable toilets by the carpark. 

Lucille and Delia joined her, and Patsy silently decided she would join Valerie and Trixie for a cigarette. Though, as she patted her pockets for her carton, her hand rested upon something hard against her chest and her eyes widened remembering just what she was carrying in her pocket. Patsy had forgotten about it on the drive over and now she stood there painfully aware of what she had brought it for. 

She blinked, not having exactly planned this far ahead. If she were going to move forward giving Delia some afternoon delight then she would need to figure out how to get this  _ thing  _ on in her trousers with all her friends and the people around them none the wiser. 

'I need the loo too!' 

She ran over and caught up with the others, who turned to watch as she approached. 

'Why don't you go first then Pat's,' Barbara offered. 

'What?' 

'You look like you need to go more urgently than we do,' Lucille nodded. 

'I do?!' Patsy looked on thoroughly confused. 

'Yeah, you're looking a little red and clammy. Are you going to be sick?' Barbara asked, looking Patsy over carefully 

'Yeah, why are you so sweaty? It's nearly freezing out here,' Delia accentuated her comment by crossing her arms over her chest and letting out a breath of air that disappeared above her head is a white puff. 

Patsy suddenly did feel the sweat forming at the rim of her brow and realized she must have been fretting over her current predicament. 

'I'm fine!' she shouted, darting past the group and entering the first open toilet, closing the door with a loud slam. 

' _ Way to thwart off any suspicion there you numpty _ ,' she thought to herself as she closed the latch on the door. 

She took a breath and worked to calm her nerves, unbuttoning her jeans and pulling the toy out from her jacket. 

She situated it through the specially made rubber ring through her knickers and it fit well and snug in place. The only problem now was, because it was designed for a specific purpose, the damn thing stuck straight out in front of her and no matter which way she tried to bend and fit it the damn thing just would not sit comfortably in her trousers. 

She stared perplexed at it, racking her brain with all the configurations she could possibly try to get this thing to sit comfortably without being noticeable.

Never in her life did Patsy ever think she would be two handed wrestling with one of these things in her trousers, real or not. In a portable toilet no less with all their friends just outside the door. 

The things she did for love.

' _ What the bloody hell do boys do when they have random erections?? _ ' she thought frantically. 

She tried pulling it straight up so the head sat against her torso. When she buttoned her jeans it certainly kept the thing in place but she couldn't bend forward or sit without it stabbing her. She tried shoving the thing down one pant leg but it left a bulge that was way, way too noticeable. 

Patsy settled on positioning it to one side, reasoning that she could just walk around with her hand in her pocket to hold the thing down. She made damn sure that her top and jacket were pulled all the way down to cover any noticeable bulge. 

She slowly exited the toilet and looked around, noticing that the others had found their own separate stalls and she was the first one to finish. 

Patsy quietly made her way back towards Valerie and Trixie, keeping her hands in her pockets and trying to act casual. 

When she approached, she noticed the two of them looking towards the little makeshift table at the front of the house, where a lone woman was collecting entrance fees. 

Valerie's tisked at the price marked on the little sign propped up on the table. 

'Five quid a person?' Valerie bemoaned, rubbing her chin, 'you think they offer any discounts? Like on groups of six or more like we've got?'

'Are you honestly thinking of haggling with a nun?' Trixie asked incredulously. 

Valerie scoffed, 'Asking for a discount is not haggling, and that woman is clearly not a nun. Look at her!'

Valerie thrust her hand in the direction of a mild looking middle aged woman in a thick cardigan sitting at the table, pushing her cateye glasses up her nose, looking proud of herself as she had successfully tied a balloon around the wrist of an excited toddler. She was accompanied by a little box for monies on the table and a steaming cup of tea.

'So what? It's just 5 quid,' Trixie argued. 

'That's beside the point. I like a good bargain no matter what.'

Patsy rolled her eyes. 

'What about a student's discount? Do you think they have one of those?' 

'Val none of us are students!' 

'Nurses then! We're all nurses!'

'That's not a thing Val!' Trixie huffed, crossing her arms. 

'Fine then I'm asking if they have a veterans discount,' Valerie puffed her chest and looked as if she were about to walk towards the table if it weren't for Trixie grabbing onto her arm. 

'Valerie stop being stingy!' 

Having had enough of the back and forth, Patsy pushed through the two of them and threw down £30 on the table for the six of them and walked back with their neon wristbands. 

'Here's your discount,' Patsy thrust the neon pink wristband out for Valerie to take, 'now shut the hell up.'

'Ah, thank you PaAAH!'

Everyone looked to see Lucille tugging Valerie quite hard by the ear.

'Needlessly penny pinching again?' Lucille accused. 

'What do you mean? I didn't do anything?'

'I heard the whole thing Val! You know there's a difference between being frugal and just plain old cheap!’ 

'Just trying to save a few quid is all. And anyway, I didn't ask her to pay, she just went and did it!' 

'Well you're going to thank our friends for their generosity by buying them a round a cider when we get in.' 

'Alright alright, ow ow ow ow ow!’ 

'I can't tell if this is abuse or flirting,' Barbara whispered, narrowing her eyes as she watched Lucille drag Valerie through the gate by the ear. 

'I'm sure Valerie likes the attention,' Patsy said dismissively, turning to Delia with a smile and holding out her elbow, 'Shall we?' 

Delia smiled and placed her hand in the crook of Patsy's elbow. The two walked side by side behind their friends as they all walked through the gate and onto the land.

The six of them stopped for a moment to collect themselves, putting on their wristbands and deciding what they wanted to do first. 

'Cider,' Trixie offered at once, saying nothing else. 

'Trix we can't very well start with that, Barbara said, opening a paper map of the facility and examining it, 'it's not even noon yet.'

Trixie stuck her tongue out in protest. 

'I could go for a warm drink though,' Lucille said, 'Do they sell any tea or coffee here?' 

'Yup! There's a shop there this red barn is,' Barbara pointed to the map,'they have food too, most notably apple cider donuts.'

'Ooh I want one of those,' Delia smiled. 

'Are there piglets there?' Patsy asked. 

'Presumably,' Barbara said, 'and little goats and chicks.'

'I was promised piglets. I'm going to be upset if there are no piglets here,' Patsy added. 

'You said it's in the barn?' Valerie asked looking around, 'you mean that barn all the way down there?' 

The other five women turned to follow Valerie's gaze, their eyes landing on a particularly long trail that led down a hill to all the activities they came here for. The big red Barn on the map was there, crowded with people. The orchards were also there along with a pumpkin patch and a fenced off area that looked as if that's where the animals were kept. On the other side of the fence was a maze made out of baled hay. 

'Guess we better start walking,’ Barbara said. 

No sooner than she said that did the rumbling of a tractor catch their attention. They stopped to watch it pull up next to them, and a portly man politely tilted his flatcap at them. 

'You ladies need a lift?' 

'Woohoo! Hayride!' Valerie shouted, and enthusiastically ran around the back to hop on. She graciously helped the others step on, and within a matter of moments they were off on their slow bumpy ride that made Patsy unnecessarily tense, the entire time hoping that nothing on her person shifted. More specifically, in her trousers. 

Once they were at the bottom of the hill, they collectively walked through the barn mentioned in the map, looking around at the odd trinkets here and there for sale. Jars of honey, wreaths, and other goodies that had Trixie excited to decorate for the holidays with. Under the insistence of Lucille, Valerie bought everyone a round of hot tea and donuts, after which they collected a few baskets between the six of them and made their way towards the apple trees. 

The women carried on in conversation, flitting between the rows of trees as their baskets slowly filled. Patsy was staying close to Delia for any chance they might be able to sneak off somewhere, even for just a quick kiss, but for now it seemed that Delia was interested in being around their friends and making the most of their day out. Patsy settled for holding the basket of apples as Delia picked the ones she wanted to make for a pastry dish when they returned home. 

‘Pats I need your help,’ Valerie said, ‘Lou’s gone and filled up our basket so I need to use yours.’ 

‘What? No. Why do you need so many apples?’ Patsy asked suspiciously. 

‘Because I want to make my own cider at home,’ Valerie said proudly, ‘thought it would be a nice gift to give out to everyone at the holidays but I need a lot of apples to make the amount I need.’ 

‘Well, you can’t have her, she’s helping me get the ones all the way up top,’ Delia said. 

‘Well I can help you with that, can’t I? Pats and I look to be the same height, don’t we?’ 

Valerie picked an attractive looking apple from high up and tossed it to Patsy, but the redhead remained completely unflinching as the little red fruit simply bounced off her stomach and onto the ground. 

Valerie looked perplexed, blinking. 

‘What, no… not even an attempt to catch it?’ Valerie asked, waving her hands in front of her uncertainly. 

‘Well if I had known you were going to toss it to me…’ Patsy replied quietly and through clenched teeth. 

‘Well yeah but you didn’t even like, move? What’s wrong with your hand? You’ve been keeping it in your pocket since we’ve been here.’ 

‘Yeah I’ve noticed that too. You alright?’ Delia asked, looking at Patsy closely. 

‘My hand is cold!’ Patsy snapped, turning away so the two would stop looking in the vicinity of her pocket. 

Barbara, Lucille, and Trixie rounded a hedge to join them just then, looking curiously into Patsy and Delia’s basket. 

‘Good haul for you too?’ Lucille asked, holding up her overflowing basket. 

‘It’s coming along,’ Delia beamed. 

‘I think I’m ready for another drink if anyone is interested,’ Barbara said, ‘maybe try some of the cider this time,’ she added, pointedly looking to Trixie who smiled and clapped her hands excitedly. 

‘Ooh, finally! I saw they offer a flight of all the ciders they offer and I want to try that!’ 

‘Me too!’ Valerie chimed in. 

‘Ooh, can we please go through the maze on the way back to the barn? I don’t want to forget,’ Lucille said, looking pleadingly to Valerie 

‘You two go ahead, Trix and I will get drinks and grab us all a table,’ Barbara offered. 

‘How about you, Pats? You want to go through the maze?’ Delia asked. 

‘Yeah, come on mate! Sign said it was one of the best in the country!’ Valerie said, her voice fading as she was being dragged off by Lucille and trying desperately not to lose any apples from her overflowing basket. 

Trixie and Barbara began to walk off and Delia followed after Lucille and Valerie towards the maze, but before Delia could make it very far, Patsy grabbed her hand and held her back. 

She looked down at her hand and then back up at Delias confused face, her brain finally catching up with her body and telling her that if there was ever a chance, this was it. 

'What's the matter?' Delia asked. 

'Nothing, I just wanted you to come this way instead is all.'

Delia looked at her curiously as she allowed for Patsy to pull her in the opposite direction of their friends and back through the orchards. 

'Pats,’ Delia asked with a playfulness in her tone, ‘what are you playing at?' 

'Nothing,’ Patsy replied, trying to sound nonchalant even though her heart was beating fast in her chest with anticipation. 

Past the orchards and the pumpkin patch was a small stone wall that marked the end of the property, and beyond that a rather dense forest that offered plenty of cover for what Patsy intended to get up to.

Patsy stepped over the fence and held her hand out to a rather hesitant Delia. 

‘OK, really now, where are we going?’ 

‘Not far I promise,’ Patsy said as Delia took her hand, ‘I just wanted to have some alone time with you, that’s all. Away from… well, everyone,’ she finished, referencing the farm full of people and families behind them. 

Delia placed their basket of apples down at her feet before she stepped over to the other side to be with Patsy. 

‘Oh is that all? You didn’t need to walk me all the way out here for that.’ 

‘How would you know?’ 

She pulled Delia in close and kissed her, forgetting that she had been working hard most off that morning to hide the apparatus in her trousers but she was much too focused on having Delia to herself for just a few minutes for her to really care. It only took a second for Delia to gasp and break away from the kiss, her eyes wide and looking up at Patsy with a mix of amusement and bewilderment. 

'Patsy!’ she exclaimed, ‘You didn't!' 

'What?' Patsy asked innocently, a grin slowly appearing on her features as she watched the realization dawn on Delias face. 

'You know  _ what  _ you cheeky little-,'

Delia playfully shoved Patsy a little harder than intended and the redhead stumbled back, grasping onto Delias arm and pulling her with her. 

The two women fell in a heap of limbs and giggles in a thicket of shrubs. There was a scuffling as they shifted, plucking out sticks from uncomfortable places and dusting off dirt from one another. Patsy sat up in her elbows and removed the rucksack full of water bottles she had ungracefully fallen on from her back, casually tossing it aside before she felt Delia’s hands ball her jacket into her fists once more. 

'Patsy I can't believe you!’ Delia exclaimed, continuing to playfully swat at her girlfriend from their spot on the ground, ‘Why are you wearing that thing!?' 

'What do you mean  _ why _ ?' 

'Have you had it on this whole time?' 

'Just since we arrived.'

'And just what were you planning to do with it?'

'What do you think?!'

'I  _ know,  _ but did you really think this was how we would be spending our afternoon?' Delia asked. 

'I'll admit it's all a bit improvised but,' Patsy paused, picking a few leaves out of Delia's hair as she looked over her shoulder to make sure no one was around, 'but I just felt so bad leaving things they way they were this morning.'

'Oh, Patsy!’ Delia tisked, ‘That wasn’t your fault at all. I could have waited until we were home again. '

'I know but I didn't want you to wait,’ Patsy said softly. 

Delia looked down at Patsy, still with an incredulous look on her face as to say what Patsy was suggesting was absurd, but as the seconds ticked by and the blush on her cheeks grew, Patsy could see the disapproving look on her face dissipate. 

‘Come here,’ Patsy said softly, unable to take her gaze off Delias lips as she gently pulled her forward. 

They kissed softly at first, pulling away and coming back together again with more vigor, over and over again. Soon Delia’s mouth molded onto Patsy’s and the two were pressed against one another, their arms and legs wrapped up in one another once more. 

Patsy happily noticed that Delia’s body was moving against hers, her hips grinding against hers seeking out that contact that she seemed to want more and more with each passing moment. Patsy worked to move things along by grasping Delia by the bum and pulling her forward, forcing their bodies to press hard against one another. 

‘Oh god, fuck, OK…’ Delia breathed against Patsy’s mouth, to which Patsy could only smile, absolutely loving how worked up she was making the woman. 

Patsy wrapped her arms around Delia and moved to roll the woman over onto her back. 

‘Wait, wait,’ Delia swallowed a lump in her throat, and Patsy halted her motions and looked at her expectantly. 

‘What is it? Do you want to stop?’ 

‘No, just… fuck, OK. I can’t believe we’re doing this,’ she said, a shy smile gracing her lips as she closed her eyes, ‘But I want to. I want to…’ 

Patsy lay Delia down on the ground, wrapping her arms around her as she kissed her, pressing her body hard into her. She forced her hips between Delia’s legs and was delighted to not only feel Delia wrap her legs around her hips, but to feel her body arch into hers, to feel 

‘Please,’ Delia breathed, ‘Pats, please…,’ she trailed off, her breathing deep and chest heaving against Patsy’s. 

‘Please what, darling?’ Patsy teased, her teeth gently nipping at Delia’s ear. 

‘Please fuck me… please, I need it…’ Delia trailed off once more, finding the wherewithal to take Patsy's face in both her hands and pull her in for a deep kiss. 

Patsy reached down between Delia’s legs to stroke her with her fingers, feeling her through her knickers to see if she was ready for her. 

‘Christ,’ Patsy mouthed against Delias neck. 

‘I told you,’ Delia whined. 

Patsy pulled herself away for only a moment to sit back on her knees. She looked around one last time to make sure there were no other people in sight as she unbuttoned her jeans. She gasped with a little laugh as she saw Delia sit up and feel her hastily working her hands around her button and zipper, moving quickly to pull out the toy in her trousers. 

Patsy gently pushed Delia onto her back once more and grasped her from behind her knees, pulling the smaller woman towards her. She wrapped Delia’s legs around her hips, using one hand to push aside her knickers while guiding herself inside with the other. 

Both women gasped, Patsy almost falling on top of Delia when she expected some resistance but felt none. 

‘Fuck, just slipped right in,’ she breathed, using one hand to steady herself and the other to raise Delia’s hips just slightly off the ground. 

‘Oh…’ Delia managed to gasp out, her hands grasping onto Patsy to keep her close, one entangled in the womans red hair and the other grasping onto her jacket, the fabric balled into her fist in a tight grip. 

Patsy slowly pulled back and pushed herself in again, watching Delia’s face for any sign of discomfort, but the woman seemed to be in a state of bliss, a look of relief on her features as Patsy finally filled her. 

Patsy deliberately kept her rhythm slow, wanting to take in everything about this moment. She always loved pleasing Delia like this. She loved the way Delia was pulling at her, breathing in her ear. Patsy loved the expression on her face, with her eyes closed and her lips parted. She even loved the way her lips playfully twitched into a smile whenever Patsy hit a particularly pleasurable spot. 

She hitched her arm under Delias left leg and cradled it in her hand, pushing it back so that Delia was almost bent in half and Patsy was able to push in deeper. She was rewarded with an aching groan that escaped Delia’s lips. 

Patsy cautiously looked around once more to make sure they were entirely alone, and she was relieved to see that they were still only surrounded by trees and shrubs and the curious squirrel here and there she worked to ignore. 

She focused back on Delia who seemed completely lost to pleasure, just how Patsy liked it. She continued to continue a slow rhythm, pulling out and pushing back in. The pressure of thrusting against Delia was pushing against some rather sensitive nerve endings of Patsy’s that she tried to push out of her mind to focus on Delia’s needs, but the urge to push harder and faster was becoming overwhelming. 

‘You like how that feels, baby?’ Patsy asked, sweetly kissing Delia along her neck. 

‘Yeah,’ Delia breathed, managing to open her eyes, ‘but Pats…’ 

‘Hmm?’ 

‘My bum is cold… and,’ 

Delia hitched her leg over Patsy’s hip and pushed, surprising the taller woman by pinning her on her back. She let out a little ‘oof!’ when she hit the ground. 

‘We’re a little short on time and you’re going entirely too slow,’ Delia finished, her hands steadily pushing on Patsy’s shoulders to keep her still. 

Patsy grinned at the show of strength, not entirely hating whenever Delia tossed her around a little like this. 

Patsy sat up as Delia reached down and guided the toy back inside of her, settling down on Patsy’s lap with a sigh. Patsy threw Delia’s arms around her shoulders and grasped her own hands onto Delia’s bum. 

‘I’ve got your bum now,’ she grinned, ‘I’ll keep it warm for you.’ 

‘Hm,’ Delia smiled as she lifted herself on her knees and positioned herself back down again, letting out a breath of air, ‘your hands are nice and warm from being in your pockets all day.’ 

Patsy smiled, biting down lightly on an earlobe at the comment. 

She tightened her hold around Delia, guiding the smaller woman in her lap to rock against her, and in turn Delia pushed herself down as far as she could go, groaning. Patsy felt hands in her hair again as Delia pulled her close, kissing her. Their foreheads pressed against one another, eyes fluttered shut, breathing turned to panting. 

Several moments of rocking and sweet talk passed, Patsy reveling in the feeling of holding Delia close and listening to her moan and whimper in her ear, feeling proud and loved that she was the one to please Delia like this and no one else. There was a change in Delia soon, her rocking more frantic and her grip on Patsy tightening, all signs Patsy knew telling her that her love was close. 

‘Come on, baby, come on,’ Patsy breathed against Delia’s neck, her hands tightly gripping onto any loose bit of fabric on her skirt or jacket to guide the woman against her, pulling and pushing 

‘Fuck, Pats,’ Delia whined desperately, her lips quivering against the taller womans ear. 

‘You can do it,’ Patsy breathed, ‘oh, fuck, baby, you can do it, come on.’ 

It didn’t take another second before Patsy felt Delia’s body tense. Delia lifted herself off Patsy and slammed back down one last time before she came undone, her body quivering in her arms as she let out an aching cry against Patsy’s ear, something she did that admittedly always drove Patsy fucking crazy. 

Patsy held Delia close, holding her steady as she shook in her arms and caught her breath, the motions and cute little noises she was making in her ear making Patsy just want a little bit more. 

When Delia seemed to have finally caught her breath, she pulled away slightly, raking her fingers through her hair before she leaned down and kissed Patsy, cupping her head in her hands. 

Patsy tightened her grip on Delia and laid her down on the ground once more, pressing her body into her. 

‘How are you feeling?’ 

Delia smiled and reached up, gently brushing Patsy’s fringe out of her eyes, ‘I feel wonderful.’ 

‘Good,’ Patsy whispered, kissing Delia sweetly on her soft lips, ‘you got one more for me?’ 

She accompanied this question by shifting her hips, slowly pulling the toy out of Delia and pushing back in, loving the way Delia gasped, her legs shaking against her at the simple motion. 

‘Oh, fuck, yes, please,’ Delia sighed, grasping hard onto Patsy’s jacket again and pulling her close. 

Patsy swallowed a lump in her throat, working hard to focus on Delia, listening and feeling for her cues to bring her over that edge again. 

She brought Delia’s leg over her shoulder, positioning her to bend in half like she had before, only this time Patsy could hardly control her motions as she thrust into Delia harder, faster. She was only encouraged when she felt Delia reach down and feel for her belt loop, grasping onto it and driving her hips into her harder, her eyes closing and her mouth opening into a soft chorus of ‘ _ yes, yes, yes _ ,’ in Patsy’s ear. 

‘Oh, yes, there,’ Delia gasped out, her hands reaching out for something, anything to grasp onto as Patsy pushed herself into that spot over and over again. 

Patsy pinned down Delia’s wandering hand with her own and interlocked their fingers. 

She could feel Delia’s whole body grow tense, her hips riding to meet her thrusts until she let out another aching cry, her whole body crashing down again as she shook, her lips and legs quivering. 

Patsy clenched her teeth, practically growling as she pushed out her own orgasm on the heels of Delia’s second, all the sensations of having hands in her hair, hot breath against her ear, the feeling of her body pressed against Delia’s soft, warm one. Even the thrill of being out in the elements had all her nerve endings lighting up her whole body, and everything combined pushed her over that edge. 

Patsy’s eyes slammed shut and she moaned, that familiar, wonderful coil in her loins that had been winding up had finally burst open and she was feeling the effects of that pleasure shoot through to every corner of her body. 

The two women lay still for several moments, catching their breath, giving one another light touches and kisses. 

‘Thank you, baby,’ Patsy whispered. 

‘Feel like I should be the one thanking you.’ 

Patsy smiled, slowing pulling herself out of Delia with a slight gaps coming from the smaller woman. 

She helped Delia sit up, the two of them helping one another to situate themselves, Delia straightening out her skirt and hair while Patsy removed the toy from her knickers and placed it in their rucksack. 

‘You know what’s sad?’ Delia asked. 

‘What’s that?’ Patsy asked, buttoning her jeans back up again. 

‘I’m going to want to do all this again in like, an hour,’ Delia replied, shyly tucking her face in her hand before she ran her fingers through her hair, pushing back all the loose strands that had fallen in her face. 

Patsy merely blushed, biting back a smile thinking she wouldn’t mind that one bit. In the meantime, she stood and reached down, helping Delia to get to her two feet. They brushed one another off as best as they could and Patsy hitched the rucksack over her shoulder again. 

‘We should get back to the others. They might send out a search party soon,’ Patsy said. 

‘Oh, shit, how long have we been gone?’ 

Delia reached into her jacket pocket and pulled out her phone, her eyes widening as she gave a frantic look to Patsy. 

‘We better run.’ 

She grasped Patsy by the hand and together they ran out of the woods, back over the stone fence and through the pumpkin patch towards the maze where they had seen their friends last. They only slowed down when they found themselves ear the entrance of the maze, both rather surprised to find Barbara and Trixie standing near the entrance. Barbara was holding a little carrying tray for plastic cups while Trizxie had her phone glued to her ear, tapping her foot impatiently. 

‘Well there’s two of them,’ Barbara said, nodding her head in the direction of an approaching Patsy and Delia. 

‘And just where in the bloody hell were you?’ Trixie asked, giving them a once over, ‘Barbara and I have been waiting over in the barn for nearly a half hour with all these drinks thinking the four of you would join us! Thought the four of you were in the maze and here you are walking in from the orchards. And where are the other two?!’ 

Patsy and Delia shared a look. 

‘Did you two roll down a hill?’ Barbara asked, looking as if she were observing the two of them closely. . 

‘No!’ ‘Yes!’ 

Patsy and Delia had answered at the same time, both giving the other their signature ‘ _ warning look _ ’ to go along with the other. 

‘Hill? What hill? We’re at the bottom of a bloody hill,’ Trixie mumbled to herself as she composed a text. 

‘Did you? Because you look like you rolled down a hill.’ Barbara said. 

‘Yes!’ ‘No!’ 

‘Did you roll down a hill or not?’ Trixie asked. 

‘No!’ ‘Yes!’ 

‘Whatever,’ Trixie rolled her eyes indifferently, turning her attention back to her phone, ‘service is bloody awful here. I can’t get ahold of Valerie or Lucille. They’ve been in that maze for almost 30 bloody minutes!’ 

‘I heard it’s a rather complicated maze,’ Barbara said calmly, 

‘’It’s made for  _ children _ , for gods sake! You’d bloody think they-’

Trixie was cut off by a sudden commotion. She whirled around and everyone followed her gaze to see several bales of hay topple over, followed by a wave of hat looked to be dozens of apples scattered about. Children began to run away screaming as a big cloud of dust and hay billowed into the air. 

The four women watched on as the dust cleared to reveal none other than Valerie, the woman sounding as if she were coughing up a lung, her arms and legs sprawled out on the newly created stack of hay. 

‘Oh god in heaven! Didn’t think we were going to make it out alive!’ she cried. 

Lucille appeared from the other side of the maze relatively unscathed, stepping over Valerie before turning back and pulling the woman away from the carnage she had created. 

‘What on earth happened in there?’ Barbara asked. 

‘We got lost,’ Lucille admitted, looking rather embarrassed as she helped Valerie to a standing position and brushed her off. 

‘Got turned around so many times, all those twists and corners and dead ends really did my head in,’ Valerie leaned on Lucille and gasped, ‘god, I’m starving.’ 

‘Alright, now you’re just being dramatic,’ Lucille quipped. 

‘ _ So thirsty _ ,’ Valerie added, popping the top off one of the cups Barbara handed to her and taking a chug, ‘Ooh, horlicks!’ 

‘Did you really need to burst through the wall like some pillocky Kool-Aid man!?’ Patsy asked, thrusting her hand in the direction of the carnage. 

‘That’s my fault,’ Lucille admitted, ‘promised her a backrub later if she managed to find us a way out.’ 

‘To which I’m very much looking forward to, darling.’ 

Valerie wiped her mouth with her sleeve and looked to Patsy and Delia. 

‘Did you two have sex?’ 

‘No!’ Patsy and Delia shouted at the same time. 

‘Ugh, finally they agree on something,’ Trixie said. 

‘What in the bloody hell happened here?’ 

The group of women looked over their shoulders to see the gentleman who had given them a lift on the tractor earlier standing over the freshly fallen bales of hay, lifting his cap and scratching his head in confusion. 

‘Here’s an idea,’ Patsy said, addressing the group as she grasped Delias hand, ‘why don’t we leave before they figure out it was us.’ 

‘I like that plan,’ Valerie stated. 

‘Me too,’ Lucille added. 

All six women turned and began a brisk walk back to the carpark, Barbara trailing slightly behind everyone with her handful of beverages, the staff and those around them none the wiser about who made the mess behind them. 

With a second wave of energy about them, the group of women decided to just grab lunch somewhere closer to the city once they returned to the car, the lot of them chatting idly as Barbara started the car and began to drive off once everyone was comfortably settled. 

About halfway through the drive, Delia swore. 

‘Oh shit,’ Delia exclaimed quietly to herself, smacking her forehead with her hand. 

‘What is it?’

‘We forgot our apples!’ 

‘I’m not going back,’ Valerie said, dead serious. 

‘But I was going to make a pie!’ 

Patsy scooted closer to Delia and wrapped her arm around her girlfriend, giving her a comforting kiss on the head as she gently reminded her that she would be much too busy to bake them a pie later. 

Delia perked up immediately at that. 

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Not sure if anyone is still reading these things, but I hope you enjoyed this stupid little fic! I sure as hell had a good time writing it, especially the part with Patsy in the porta-potty. Makes me laugh every time I think about it 😄
> 
> Thanks for reading, as always! ❤️


End file.
